Diaries of a Manslayer: The Life and Times of Hitokiri Battousai
by glubar
Summary: The Hitokiri's encounter with the Shogunate ninjas ends differently and Himura Kenshin never suffers the tragedy that drove him to wander. No longer alone and faced with mounting responsibilities, Himura Kenshin is drawn closer to the Ishin Shishi and the future Meiji government.
1. Prologue: The Crows of Fate

This is the story of my life. It doesn't start with my birth, because that's not when my life truly began. No, it does not begin even when I lost my parents, or when I was taken in and given my name by my late Master. It did not even began when I left to join the revolution as a manslayer.

It all began on one snowy night.

It was in the middle of winter and in those days, it was a night like any other. Once again, I had been sent out on a mission. My target was some old samurai, whose name I can no longer remember. I thought, when I was much younger, that I could never forget the faces of those I had murdered. But, unfortunately, old age rots the mind. Through the years, the clear image of their faces blurred, their screams which rang so loud in my dreams have now been muffled.

Yet still, after all this time. The image of that day had been burnt into my soul.  
The man was surrounded by two bodyguards. They were young, very young. I doubt any of them were over the age of twenty. Of course, I was even younger.

Upon my announcement of my intention to kill them, one of the guards even charged forward. So, I too charged in. My skill in battoujutsu had not failed me, as the guard had been cleaved in two before he could even draw his weapon. I drew closer to the old man. The old man had pushed his other guard out of the way and charged forward, the boy must have been important to him. Though he had raised his sword, it was too late. By the time he was ready to strike I leaped into the air and stabbed him through the head with the Ryutsuisen-Zan. His fate was sealed. The mission was over now. My job was done.

There was one more left standing. We clashed swords and I asked him for his surrender. But despite muttering that he must live on, he had chosen the fatal error of taking me on in an one-on-one duel.

To this day, only one man had survived such an encounter.

He ran at me prepared to strike and I delivered a clean cut to his gut. I began walking away. He should have died, any normal man would have died. However, Kiyosato Akira was not an ordinary man. He was deeply in love, having foolishly journeyed to Kyoto in order to prove his worth to his fiancee who already loved him enough to be his wife. He wanted, no needed, to live on. It was something deeply profound, but at the time I just thought he was stubborn.

Kiyosato steadied himself and raised his sword once more. He charged at me again, so I turned and ran at him in kind. In one move, I had sliced him across his torso. But he too drew blood. The scar on my face that I bare to this day, came from his sword, which had managed to score a cut upon my left cheek. It was the first time someone had wounded me in Kyoto.

Kiyosato began to crawl away, now he realized that to fight meant certain doom and that it was better to run. Unfortunately, it was too late. I don't recall why, but I was intent on ending his life at that point. I walked up to his tattered body and ended his life with a plunge of my sword.

A cruel and evil decision on my part. But little did I know, at that moment, it was a decision that would bring me a lifetime of happiness. As he died, I had wished that he would find happiness in his next life. It was the least I could do, having stolen his happiness away from him. The scar he gave me, after all these years, continues to bleed from time to time. I think it must be some form vengeance he imposes upon me from the afterlife, for taking what was rightfully his and living without consequence. It was a memorable night for me, because it was the night my life had changed forever.

I had a meeting with Katsura the next day, it was the first time he invited me to attend a meeting outside the role of an assassin. I declined, believing that my role in the revolution was only that of an assassin. Indeed, back then I had thought by killing enough men, I could bring about a new era of peace and justice. How wrong I was.

Several nights passed after that assassination and I had a run-in with an unpleasant assassin. He put up a decent fight, but before he could wound me I had split him in half. The blood of this sword-for-hire had sprayed up into the skies and it appeared, as my late wife remarked right then, like I was "making the rain bleed".

Of course she was not my wife then, it was our first meeting. She had seen me kill that man and I was troubled. I was an assassin back then, my identity needed to be protected. She was so beautiful, standing in the rain and it would've crushed my soul to have taken her life. Luckily, she passed out before I had to make any difficult decisions and I carried her back to the Kohagi Inn. She smelt of plums, it was a wonderful scent. The owner had thought I brought back a prostitute. It was an unfortunate misunderstanding.

Tomoe she began working at the inn and rumours of me and her began to spread. Even Katsura believed so. They enraged me, but she didn't seem to care. She had told me her name was Tomoe. Time then passed as I continued to perform my duties as an assassin. There was a spy in our midst and my identity had been exposed, but that didn't seem to worry me all that much. Nothing did those days. It was almost as if I had lost my ability to feel. Or maybe it was because I was paranoid continuously so it didn't matter to me anyway. I remember that one time Tomoe touched me upon my scar in my sleep and I burst out and almost cut her down.

Over time, Tomoe and I exchanged conversation, drank sake together, and grew closer day by day. Then one day, the Shinsengumi had uncovered our plans. The Ikedaya Inn was raided and in revenge, we launched a failed attack against the Bafuku. When the Bafuku's counter-attack began, Tomoe and I had to flee together in disguise as husband and wife.

I enjoyed life in hiding, it was definitely a change of pace from the life of an assassin. I wished those days would never end, but I knew that the looming revolution would pull me back into violence once again. They were peaceful days. I would sell medicine; Tomoe and I grew some crops by our humble little home. Months passed as the summer gave way to the frost and we had grown accustomed to that way of life. I had fallen for her long ago, but it was during this period that she truly began to love me.

One day, Tomoe's brother came to visit. It was quite odd that he knew where she was, and I really should have put more thought into it. Considering what had happened the day after, a lot could have gone wrong. Yet, at that time I really didn't think much of it. Enishi eventually left and night came.

Tomoe and I were huddled in front of the fire. I told her that I had to fight once we came out of hiding, but that I wanted to stop killing after the revolution was over. How naive I was, thinking that something could be so clear cut. I asked her if she wanted to get married for real after. She drew herself closer and we made love for the first time that night, so I think it was a yes. After we finished, I had drifted to sleep.

I then awoke to the sound of crows and a closing door.


	2. Chapter 1: The Yaminobu

I had a dream that night, about what, I cannot remember. All I remember was that it ended with a flock of crows screeching loudly. This of course, woke me up. I assumed that there was a flock of crows in the yard and someone had opened the door. I opened my eyes as I sprang into consciousness. I slowly opened my eyes and realized that Tomoe was no longer there. She must've been the one that opened the door, I deduced. I slowly got up, dressed myself and went outside to see what she was up to, but all I saw was a trail of footprints up the hill and Tomoe's far away figure walking away.

A lot of emotions went through my mind at that moment, I was so overwhelmed that I did not even notice that I was being watched. I followed my first instinct and chased her up the hill.

"Tomoe!" I screamed. Moving with the god-like speed of the Battousai feared by all. But, this time, I was not running to kill, but running for love. She kept going, most likely to far to hear my first yell.

I kept yelling nonetheless as I drew closer. She hesitated and looked as if she was getting ready to run. Instead, she had turned around and all I saw was the tears streaming down her face. I ran and embraced her in my arms.  
"If you don't love me, that's fine. But, please, please don't leave without first saying goodbye," I whispered into her ear.  
"That's not it," she croaked out in response, "I do love you, and that's the problem."

She broke apart from my embrace and explained everything. I had her in front of me now and there was no running away from it. She knew that I would not let her go and relented in her quest to keep her sacrifice a secret. She told me about the story of Kiyosato, how I had slain her lover. She told me that she was sent as a spy, to assassinate me. She told me of how she hated me and of how she fell in love with me. Finally, she told me that those she worked with had conspired to kill me today, and how she left to stop them. She apologized and told me that today was her effort to make up for her betrayal. She said that she understood if I did not forgive her, which had tugged upon the strings of my heart. It was a lot to take in and I was shaken at first, especially at the knowledge that I had murdered her fiancee. At the end though, I was relieved to know that she loved me.

"There's nothing for me to forgive, especially if you have forgiven me for all my heinous crimes. Worry not my love, all you ever need to do is be by my side, and that alone will make me the happiest man in the world," I replied. I moved to brace embrace her once more, until I sensed another presence nearby.

I pushed Tomoe away and drew my sword as fast as I could. I couldn't remember if it was the gust from my draw or the blade of my sword, but I threw the dart coming for me off-course. It had fallen into the snow and I was now face-to-face with a ninja with a blowdart. It turned out that there had been an ambush lying for me. After Tomoe went back to the Tokugawa spies, they planned to lure me into their trap. Of course the plan had been to daze me with the knowledge that Tomoe had betrayed me, but that plan was ruined by the flock of crows that had woke me this morning. Seeing that I had followed Tomoe, the ninjas lying in wait must have been confused about what they should do now. This one had been watching us the whole time and had finally decided to come out and play. It wasn't the best decision he made.

The ninja now charged at me, baring his weapons. However, his guard was imperfect and I managed to impale him with my sword before he could land a hit upon me. I then withdrew my sword and cut him across his torso, definitively ending his life.

"Tomoe! Where are they hiding?" I asked, worried.

"They're in a hut up the hill," she answered and then put her hand over her mouth, "It's too dangerous, you can't go!"

"It's alright, now that I know what they're up to, they are of no threat to me. But you, you need to get to safety," I said to her, "is the house still safe?"

"No, I'm coming with you!" she exclaimed. To be honest, that was more emotion from Tomoe than I had seen all year.

"I'm afraid I cannot fight as well if I must worry about protecting you," I said matter-of-factly. Although at this point I'm not sure if she should come. They definitely know about the house and having Tomoe stand out in the open wasn't safe either. It was all just so unexpected.

"I will await your return at the house then. But be careful, I will not lose you too," she said sternly.

"I'll be back in time for lunch," I said with a smile. She began heading in the other direction and I bent down to pick up the dart that was blown at me. Sure enough, it turned out to be covered in poison. This fight would have been a whole lot harder if that had hit me. I watched as Tomoe headed back to the house. As soon as the door closed, I left to slay the rest of these manipulative monsters that wanted to use my heart against me. I walked up the hill, fully alert in suspect of an ambush.

Turns out I didn't really need to be that on guard, the next one was a giant wielding an axe. There was no way that guy could have sneaked up on me.

"It looked like my comrade failed in his mission," the giant said with a worried look on his face. I had no time to mince words, lunch time was fast approaching. I held my sheathed sword in a battoujutsu stance and charged forward.

"You will fall here, Hitokiri Battousai!" yelled the giant as he raised his axe. As his weapon came down, I quickly side-stepped out of the way. The giant was faster than I gave him credit for and brought his axe around in a horizontal slash. I jumped atop the giant axehead and ran up the pole of the weapon toward its wielder. The giant's eyes widened as he realized what I had just done, but before he could react, I had leaped into the air and drew my sword.

"Ryu-Tsui-Sen!" I yelled as my sword split his face in two. The giant was now dead, but my fight was not done. Something clawed into my back. I quickly swung my sword around, but no one was there. I quickly jumped back out into the open and disengaged. I gathered my senses and heard rustling in the trees. As the rustling came closer, I quickly turned toward its direction and jumped between the tree trunks to reach its level. I saw a small man with clawed hands and pushed myself into his direction and stabbed him through the chest with my sword.

I now knelt over his bleeding boding in the snow. The man smiled as blood came gushing out of his mouth. He weakly pulled upon something with the last ounces of his strength and a sudden flash of light had blinded me.

I began walking up the hill, not being able to see anything along my path. Then I suddenly realized that I was in no hurry and I should first wait for my eyesight to recover before I fought my next opponent. I sat down and put some snow upon my eyes to cool them off and hopefully help them recover faster. My ears however, were on full alert, in case anyone attempted to take advantage of my temporary disability.

Not to far from where I was, in a cabin, my supposed comrade Itsuki had burst in with heavy breath.

"He...caught...her...leaving," he said with a pant.

"What?" asked the final ninja, pounding his fist upon the desk, "Shit, I have to call off the ambush. If the Battousai's heart is one place, I will be sending the others to their deaths for nothing!" Exclaimed the ninja as he ran out to warn his comrades before it was too late. Unfortunately, it was too late. I had killed them all. Itzuki, being much wiser, had decided to take his leave as he realized the plan had gone south. It would save his life, for one day.

The last ninja ran down the hill with weapon drawn. When I heard him coming, I stood up and removed the snow from my eyes. My vision had returned a little, everything was still blurry. I could make out dim shapes, which was quite enough.

"You must be the last one. For your plot to use Tomoe against me, I must have your life," I said as I donned the battoujutsu stance.

"Yes, that was the plan. It didn't seem to work though. It seemed that my comrades failed to even lay a single scratch on you," said the final ninja.

"No need to grieve so much, one of them did manage to scratch my back and blur my vision," I replied.

"It's my fault. My misstep in planning led the Yaminobu to doom for nothing. Your death shall be my repayment to my fallen brothers," he said.

And so we charged. Of course, even with my eyes partially damage, my hearing could still pinpoint his steps in the snow. This in combination with the moving blur in front of my eyes allowed me to know exactly where he was. His fate was sealed. Had his plan succeeded, he might have had a chance. However, against the full strength of my youthful self, there was no way he could have won.

Our swords clashed, but I sidestepped the full strength of his swing and moved past him. I immediately turned around and slashed my enemy upon his back. He then jumped away and turned around to face me, but I had already leaped into the air by that point. He moved to parry, but before his arms could make it, my blade had come down upon his collar-bone, cutting through his torso, ending his life. It was perhaps the only murder to which I did not feel any remorse.

It seemed that he had been the last of them. I cleansed my sword, sheathed it, and walked on home. It occurred to me on the way back that Tomoe had given meaning to my life and that I could not live without her. She once again gave me the will to live after I had lost it in the slaughter of Kyoto. Right then and there, for her, I would do anything.

"I'm home!" I announced as I opened the door, only to find a blade pressed to my throat. It turns out that Tomoe had been watching the door this entire time, on guard in case I had lost. Once she realized it was her fake husband at the door, she sheathed her dagger and embraced me.

"Sorry I don't have lunch ready," she said to me. All I did was laugh. I think that was the first time I heard Tomoe make a joke.

Author's Note: As you can see, this story is told from the perspective of an older Himura Kenshin reflecting upon his life. I always wondered what would've happened if Kenshin didn't lose his wife and didn't wander. Although he is based on Kawakami Gensai, his back story is significantly different. For one thing, Himura Kenshin is certainly a lot more connected to the Ishin Ishin leaders and has a far greater reputation in the original story as a war hero than Gensai. Kenshin was also never surrendered in the Choshu expedition and fought in the decisive battle of the Boshin War. This story is a way to explore one line of possibilities in Himura Kenshin's life if he had a family and a continued presence in Japan instead of fading into myth and legend.


	3. Chapter 2: Out of the Shadows

A couple weeks later, everything seemed to return to normal. Tomoe and I were out flying kites with the children, enjoying ourselves as if nothing bad could ever happen to us.

"My kite isn't flying very high," said a young boy who lived down the path from us.

"Maybe it isn't the best idea to be flying kites out in the snow," replied Tomoe. At that moment, a burst of wind had blow Tomoe's kite wildly around, causing its strings to wrap about my legs. Of course, in the midst of all this fun, I had let my guard down. I walked forward and...

"Oro?" I called out as I tumbled down in the snow. Everybody started laughing at my uncharacteristic clumsiness.

"Glad to see you're enjoying yourself, Himura," called out a voice from the edge of the field. It was Katsura. It looked as if my care-free life out in the country was coming to a close.

I quickly dusted the snow off my clothes and welcomed him into my humble abode. Tomoe sent the kids off and came back with us. She made tea and then left Katsura and me to our business.

"I came to tell you that I've found a replacement for you, Himura. His name is Shishio Makoto. While he takes over your duties in the shadows, I was hoping you would come out into the open to guard our men against the more dangerous tools of the Bafuku," he said.

"The Shinsengumi?" I asked.

"Yes, they are becoming a real threat to us. Also, I've found the spy in our midsts. It was Itsuki, I had him assassinated by your successor," said Katsura.

"I see, so it was him. I'll fight for you out in the open Katsura, but..." I stopped myself. I had wanted to tell him that after everything was over I wanted to hang up my sword and live life in some other way. Yet, it all seemed so far away. I didn't find it to be a good idea to worry Katsura with my doubts about killing. When it all comes to an end, then I'll tell him.

"But what?" he asked.

"Nevermind, it's nothing," I answered, "Anyways, will we be moving back to Kyoto soon?"

"Yes, events are coming to a head Himura, we must return to Kyoto," said Katsura.

"It will be dangerous, I'm worried about Tomoe," I expressed my concern. In this dangerous time, I was never sure what was best for her safety. If she's close to me I could protect her, but Kyoto was the most dangerous place in Japan. Then again, everywhere was dangerous in Japan these days.

"Don't worry," said Katsura with a smile, "now that you're out in the public, you can stay at our main headquarters. It will be the best guarded base of the Choshu Ishin Shishi, but that's probably because you're there." Katsura seemed relieved that I was worried about Tomoe. I learnt later that Katsura was worried about the pressures of being a hitokiri taking its toll upon my soul. My youth and earnestness had made him see me as almost a protege of his. This concern for my sanity was partly why he had replaced me with Shishio. Then again, the ability to use my strength out in the open is not without its benefits either.

We finished our tea and he had taken his leave. The peaceful days I have spent here in the country with Tomoe would soon end.

I talked to Tomoe about the whole engagement to see what she thought. It seemed she too was worried about the dangers of Kyoto, but not for her safety.

"I'm fine with going, it's just that I don't want to lose you," she said to me. I understood her feelings, I felt the same way. We lived in trying times.

"By the way dear, have you seen my brother?" she asked.

"No, I haven't. It's strange. He was involved in all this, but he's only a child. I think he's still around here somewhere; he came all the way out here to look for you after all," I said. At this point, I was well aware that Enishi wanted me dead. I don't think I ever got on his good side. I was always that guy who stole his sister away.

In fact it turned out he didn't go home. It would be too much to expect him to leave his sister alone with me when given the choice. When I was out front chopping wood later that day, Enishi had sneaked into the turnip field to talk to his sister. It turned out he was watching us the whole time. Of course, I noticed that he had ran into the field. The child wasn't as sneaky as he liked to believe.

Tomoe explained her current feelings to the child and he eventually accepted it after a long period of resistance. There was crying and yelling, at this point there was no way he thought I wouldn't notice his presence. He then stated that he was going to stay with us, but Tomoe told him that it was too dangerous for a young boy to be in Kyoto and it was best if he went home. Plus, as Tomoe moved past her grief, it began to dawn on her that her father must have been frantic at the fact that both his children have ran away from home. She told him to go back to Tokyo, or Edo, as it was then called, and send news to her father that she was well. Tomoe had given him all our money, which I didn't really mind. But I will say that I was glad I had purchased all the food we needed for the winter already. Enishi headed off, but not before smacking me on the back of the head.

"You better take care of her! Or I'm going to kill you!" he said. He was entirely serious, I even sensed the killing intent.

Once spring came about, we moved back to Kyoto. It had been a two months since the incident with the ninjas and I was to return to my old ways again. We got settled in during the day and as dusk drew in, I prepared to leave on my escort mission. Tomoe and I made a habit of watching the sunset before I left on missions. I think it was a tacit admission that any day might have been our last together.

On the fourth escort mission of my return to Kyoto, I covered a group of escaping young revolutionaries. I can't remember the specific reason, but they were being hunted by the Shinsengumi.

A boy, probably one my age, stepped ahead of his fellow swordsman.

"So you must be that assassin we've heard so much about, I've been waiting to meet you," said the boy.

I didn't bother to mince words. I simply assumed my stance and prepared for combat.

Our swords clashed, he was extremely skilled. I have yet to fight someone of his calibre in the streets of Kyoto. However, he was not good enough. Using the trademark thrust attacks of the Shinsengumi, every attack was aimed to kill. I dodged them all, but he persisted. The fundamental flaw in the tactics of these swordsman was they relied too much on this one attack. Sure, it was effective and would likely kill many opponents in one clean hit, but they became easy to counter if shown too many times. This young man, no matter how skilled, was becoming predictable in his movements. In a few more strokes, I would have his life.

However, before that happened, he curled over and began coughing up blood. It turned out he was sick, which meant that our duel may have turned out differently had he been healthy.

"Okita, step aside! You stand no chance against him in your condition," said a man now emerging from the crowd.

"But Saito!" Okita protested.

"No, I'll handle him. You go rest," said Saito Hajime as he assume his battle stance. Saito's stance was quite unique. He held his sword in his left hand and held forward his right hand as if guiding the sword. Anybody could see he intended to open with a left-handed thrust, there was no other viable move using such a stance.

I sheathed my sword and prepared to engage him with battoujutsu. A bead of sweat falls on the ground beneath us and we lunged forward at each other. I parried Saito's attack as his lunge screeched across the blade of my sword. He quickly swung his blade around, forcing me to block the path of the sword. I the stepped past him and tried to cut him as I turned around, but he managed to evade it once more and return my attack, which I countered with a series with rapid cuts.

They were all expertly dodged or parried. He in turn counter attacked with a powerful slash, and we crossed blades, each pushing the other with all their might. He had a clear strength advantage over me, so I side stepped to avoid being eventually cut down by his blade. I ran past him toward the crowd, sheathed my sword, and turned around. He too resumed his initial stance. It was a duel full of close calls, he was the greatest opponent I ever duelled. Once again, he charged at me and I at him. Our blades sprang forth and brought a loud clang as they clashed. We moved past each other. At this point, my mission had been long complete. There was no longer any point in my staying. I ran off in the direction of my comrades, although it would have been fun to finish that duel, I had other obligations.

It was then the weight of killing had hit me once again. I just thought, no acknowledged, that a fight to the death was fun. It was a dangerous course of thought, with blood and insanity lying at the end. I went back to the inn and saw Tomoe waiting for me.

My scar bled again that night and I could not fall asleep.

"Are you awake?" I whispered.

"Yes," she answered softly.

"I fought two very strong men today," I said.

"Did they hurt you?" she asked.

I turned around to face her and said, "no, but I enjoyed fighting them. I'm scared of what that could mean."

"It's alright. If you're scared of that, it means your humanity is still with you," she said as she caressed my cheek. Her expression was stoic, typical of her mannerisms. It was odd that despite all my abilities in reading emotions, the love of my life seemed to be a stone wall to me at times. Maybe the mystery was why I was so drawn toward her. Her words calmed me, but what I said must've unsettled her a little bit. She fell for the gentle husband, not the manslayer. Or maybe it was the combination of both that drew her toward me, that I was a living oxymoron of evil and kindness. Love's just one of those things you can never bring any reason to. Sure, you have a vague idea of why you love the person you love, but really, most times you just have to follow along to wherever your heart guides you.


	4. Chapter 3: Ongoing Negotiations

The nation was quickly heading toward war. It was the second year of Genji and my old commander Takasugi Shinsaku initiated a war against the conservative faction of the Choshu domain. Katsura issued his support for Takasugi and after a series of quick strikes, the Ishin Shishi were able to achieve victory. When news of the victory travelled to Kyoto, I was ecstatic. It seemed that we made great progress and the bloodshed I created was meaningful and could one day come to an end. The Ishin Shishi were now in control of Choshu and events began to quickly escalate.

The previous arrangements we had with the Shogunate after the defeat of Choshu in the First Choshu expedition were quickly repudiated by the new Choshu government. In response, the Shogunate announced an expedition against us. Although the Choshu forces were much stronger this time, we still did not have a chance at winning. To seek out a possibility of victory, the leaders of Choshu arranged meetings with leaders of Satusma. Both had a long running dislike of the Shogun and if the two clans could unite, Choshu may have a chance at surviving the coming attack. We all knew it, but it seemed neither clan was willing to swallow their history of rivalry to come together. At this point Katsura and Saigo Takamori had been "meeting" in secret for ten days, with no progress whatsoever. The "alliance negotiations" were so unproductive, there weren't even any rumours about it. It turned out that Katsura and Saigo had met for all that time without the word alliance being mentioned even once. It seemed the negotiations would drag on forever.

That is until one day, when Katsura called me in for a meeting. He'd gone to use the name "Kido Takayoshi" at that point, but in my mind he'll always be Katsura.

"Himura, there is going to be a meeting in three days time, I would appreciate it if you would come with me," said Katsura.

"I am not interested in politics, Katsura. I will only go if you need me there as a bodyguard," I replied. Katsura frowned, it seemed he did not take well to my continued refusal to get involved in politics. It certainly would've been easy for me to do so. By that time, I had garnered quite the reputation. At times I served as Katsura's bodyguard and had met many of the revolutionary leaders. I was becoming one of the most famous Ishin Shishi from Choshu.

"You will be there as a bodyguard, I am meeting with members of the other clans, and it may prove to be a dangerous event. If it is compromised, it may spell the doom of our very movement," said Katsura.

"It sounds of great importance. I will attend as you request, rest assured, you will be safe with me," I answered.

Later that night I spoke to Tomoe about leaving town in a few days. I could not tell her the exact details of that meeting, as Katsura had requested I keep everything to myself. The meeting was very sensitive. Although Tomoe was understanding about my secrecy, it had been clear it bothered her.

"I wish you luck," she said to me after I revealed to her all that I could allow about what I was to do that night. She said so in a cold, emotionless voice. Granted, Tomoe was not the most vibrant being around. But, the cold, soulless voice I had just heard was Tomoe's method of suppressing her emotions. She only spoke in that voice for two reasons. She was consumed by either overwhelming sadness or overwhelming rage. She must have sensed the danger then. She feared she would lose me that night.

The night of the meeting, I, Katsura, other Choshu leaders, and their escorts made our way to the Suzu-ya Inn. It was the less obvious of the two safe choices of meeting that night. Sakamoto Ryoma also attended the meeting as neutral voice and intermediary observer. As a revolutionary from Tosa, Sakamoto saw it in the interest of the movement to ensure that the Ishin Shishi joined forces to restore Imperial rule. We opened with introductions and the formalities of the meeting, and then moved up to the second floor of the inn to discuss the possibility of an alliance. Only the two leaders and their personal bodyguard were allowed up. Sakamoto took time out to thank me for my service. At the time it surprised me that my reputation had reached this far, though it did not show one bit upon my face.

It was a tough negotiation, Katsura and Saigo Takamori, the two leaders representing Choshu and Satsuma, refused to even look at each other at first. The sat facing away from each other with Sakamoto urging them both to cooperate. I was sitting patiently by Katsura about a few feet away from him when suddenly, I sensed a small group of men approaching the building. We blew out all the lights in the building and the first floor guards rushed outside. I too followed.

The sound of swords clashing rang hollow in the night as I stepped out into the moonlight. The enemy seemed to be samurai loyal to the shogunate. No doubt they discovered this secret meeting and wished to kill three of the most important revolutionary leaders in one swift strike.

A number of our men have already been struck down. I immediately help balance the numbers by cutting down two of their swordsmen. The samurai that attacked us seemed to be very skilled. Their leader was Takatsuki Gentatsu, one of the greatest swordsmen of the Aizu clan. I met eyes with Takatsuki and we both raised our blades. As if the whole world had disappeared, we two swordsmen engaged in a duel to the death.

My rapid attacks continually pushed Takatsuki back until we approached the woods. Our blades clashed and he leaped away into the bamboo forest surrounding the path to the inn. Takatsuki had hoped that I would follow him and that he could deliver a death blow from the darkness. I saw the intent to kill in his face; his expression was not of a man pressed by attack. Of course, the best way to abate this trap was to walk right into it. I followed him into the bush with a leap, but before he could complete his swing, I had jumped into the air.

His blade easily cut through the hard bamboo and he quickly realized that it was not I that was trapped, but him. He looked up and saw me ready to descend upon him with my sword. A moment's hesitation fell upon him as he contemplated whether to run or stand his ground. I knew his answer as he raised his sword in preparation to block my strike. It was a split second decision, and the wrong one at that. The force of my body falling down toward him had made my strike powerful enough to break through his defences. As I landed on the ground in front of him, his blade split apart and blood shot from his body. I stood up from my crouched landing position, swung my sword in the air to cleanse it of blood, sheathed it, and walked away.

As I headed toward our pre-arranged escape route, I heard the scream of a man bemoaning the loss of his comrade.

"Gentatsu!" the man howled into the night sky. But no matter how loud the lament, the man was not coming back. As I kept on walking, I noticed that blood was trickling down my left cheek. It did not stop until I regrouped with Katsura.

"Thank you, Himura. I would not know what we'd do without you. You really saved our skins back there," said Katsura as I caught up with his escort.

"There's no need to thank me. Was everyone alright?" I asked.

"Yes, everyone escaped fine. We regrouped with the Satsuma clan and Sakamoto not too far from here. Sakamoto pushed for us to resume our negotiations tomorrow. Reluctantly, both Saigo and I agreed. We'll be needing you again tomorrow night," replied Katsura.

"I will be there," I answered. We had abandoned our transportation at the site of the inn. Now I had to guard Katsura until he returned to his Kyoto residence. There were only four of us now, Katsura, me, and two other guards. The two other guards covered the front and back of our path to check for danger while I stayed beside Katsura to protect him from any immediate threats.

"You know, Himura, I was almost ready to give up and leave for Choshu," admitted Katsura, "For the past ten days, and even tonight, Saigo made no mention whatsoever of an alliance. I thought I was just wasting my time here. But when we departed, he mentioned that we will discuss 'the possibility of working together tomorrow,' which I think is the closest he'll get to saying that he wished to be allies. It was enough for me to continue negotiating tomorrow. I think that attack back their really cleared our eyes, for both me and Saigo. If those assassins succeeded, the Ishin Shishi would have been dealt a dangerous, if not fatal, blow. Our procrastination is endangering the movement, and it became clear that as leaders, we needed to move past our egos for the greater good."

"I'm glad to hear that. How are we to build an era of peace and justice if we cannot even stop fighting among ourselves?" I replied.

"Indeed... an era of peace and justice. I think in the midst of all this bloodshed and chaos, we may begin to lose our goals to the madness that surrounds us. I am glad to hear that you can hold on to these pure ideas even through all that you've experienced, at such a young age no less," said Katsura.

"I have to, it keeps me sane. If I forget what I am fighting for, then I am nothing but a murderer," I stated, "for an era without bloodshed, I will stain myself with violence and sin." Katsura looked disappointed at my angst ridden comment. That night, Katsura realized he needed me. I was an important asset, a powerful force not only because of my swordsmanship, but also because of the legend which surrounded my being. He wanted to use me for the future, but felt immense guilt at the notion of manipulating me for even the most well-intentioned purposes. I'm sure if I had been significantly hurt by my work as an assassin under him, he would not have said these next few words.

"But you're not a murderer, Himura. You are a loving husband and a hero to the Ishin Shishi. I want you to understand that. You may not see it now, but the world needs men like you. Never regret your days as a hitokiri. Give condolence for those cut down by your sword, but realize that it was necessary. You need not seek forgiveness for doing what was right," said Katsura.

"Thank you for your kind words, but I cannot forgive myself for the lives I've taken. They too fought for what they thought was right. We are all but struggling for our ideals in these chaotic times. I must live a righteous life to honour those whose lives I have taken," I stated resolutely. Katsura just smiled at me. I think it must have pleased him in some way to see my refusal to compromise on my principles. As another man of ideals, he understood where I came from. What really must have pleased him, was that he had finally began to figure out how to continue using me. And when I say that he's "using" me, I mean no ill intent to Katsura. He's a politician after all, it is entirely a normal part of his job to utilize his connections for influence and power. In the end, we're all tools in some way to some one. I for one was lucky to have been manipulated by a man fighting for good.

For the rest of the walk we mostly discussed my time with Tomoe. I told Katsura about how after these two years, there are still some things I do not know about her. We've exchanged stories so many times, that I do not think there is a single detail that I do not know about her past. Likewise, I've told her everything from my tragic childhood to my time as the pupil and ward of Hiko Seijuro XIII. Tomoe shared some of her more embarrassing childhood details with me, but I had kept my history of bed-wetting a secret. I had told Katsura that the greatest mystery between Tomoe and I were our desires for the future.

"I think we're afraid to talk about it because our lives are all so uncertain. Death looms in every direction," I said.

"It's understandable, expectations and plans can place pressure where it's unwanted. Plus, it's just bad luck," laughed Katsura, "not to put a jinx on you or anything, but you are only 17, Himura. So long as you live, you'll have plenty of time to worry about the future."

And with that, we had arrived at Katsura's residence. After he departed, I had returned to my quarters. The sun began to rise and Tomoe had just gone to help prepare breakfast with the inn-keeper. She had insisted on helping, despite the owner stating numerous times that Mrs. Battousai need not worry about earning her keep. When she saw me in the hallway, Tomoe ran up and embraced me in her arms. She squeezed tightly, expressing her worried mind. The droopy eyelids indicated clearly that she did not sleep a wink last night. Even after all this time I served as a warrior of the night, Tomoe would still be unable to sleep every once in a while.

"Your have more eyelids than usual today, my dear," I said. It seemed the night had taken its toll on me as well. Not only had I inadvertently insulted my wife's looks, my grammar also no longer made any sense. Luckily for me, the sea of relief felt by Tomoe had allowed my comment to go over her head. All she did was smile back at me.

"Maybe you should just skip making breakfast just this once, and we can retire to bed together," I said. My words would have been more suggestive had I the energy. But at this point, I believe both of us just wanted to sleep.

"Sure thing," she replied. With that we laid down in our futon and drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 4: The Satcho Alliance

Tonight was the night. Katsura met with the leaders of the Satsuma Clan to forge an alliance against the Shogunate. Our host for the evening was Tosa's Sakamoto Ryoma. Katsura's aides, his personal security detail and I came along with him, while Okubo Toshimichi and Saigo Takamori attended with their body guards. As Sakamoto Ryoma stayed with Komatsu Kiyokado in Kyoto, Komatsu also attended. It was a larger gathering than last night, presumably because everyone expected an actually productive meeting this time.

We all managed to reach the meeting safely. Ironically, this larger and certainly less discrete meeting went undisturbed while only moments into last night's negotiations, Aizu assassins attacked the inn. Maybe since Sakamoto arranged this meeting, the anti-revolutionary forces were less familiar with the location as a hot-spot for subversive activities.

In the meeting room, where actual negotiations were conducted, there were only ten people present. Katsura, his normal bodyguard, me, Sakamoto Ryoma, Okubo, Saigo, Komatsu, and three guards from Satsuma.

"Speaking as a humble man of Tosa, I will tell you that Satsuma and Choshu are the only domains powerful enough to stand up against the Bafuku. However, your great power must not be used against each other. We're here, risking our lives, because we want to build a better Japan. So once again, I shall implore you, Katsura and you, Saigo, to reach an agreement and work together," said Sakamoto in an attempt to push either side to make an offer.

But, Saigo and Katsura continued to stare at each other in silence. Both projected a powerful aura. Saigo Takamori had the air of a true samurai warrior. His pride was obvious and overwhelming, and could paralyse a common man even in the Meiji era. Katsura did not have a presence that stopped men in their steps, but he did exude a sense of unwavering principle. Although it does not compel those around him to bow down in deference, it was clear that Katsura would not be trifled with. Silence continued to fill the room.

"I ask both of you, would it not be more beneficial for Choshu and Satsuma to work together?" asked an exasperated Sakamoto.

"Yes," Katsura answered.

"Of course, an alliance would be in the best interest of both domains," said Saigo, his expression transforming from his a solemn and stern stare to a half-grin.

This instantly elated Katsura. Saigo Takamori had finally admitted that he wanted an alliance. Now was the time to move forward.

"I am glad we are in agreement. Now lets make an agreement that works out for the both of us, shall we?" said Katsura.

"Indeed, let us begin," replied Saigo.

"Choshu will soon engage the Bafuku in the battlefield, can we count on Satsuma to join us?" asked Katsura.

"As much as it displeases me to say this, we cannot fight alongside you against the Bafuku in battle. My associates decided that a decisive defeat would be too much to risk," said Saigo as he shot a disappointing look at Okubo, "we can, however, restrain the Bafuku in Osaka and Kyoto to help even the odds for Choshu."

"Slow them down in the rear? You will need at least five thousand troops to be effective," said Katsura.

"You underestimate our abilities," said Saigo, "we shall commit two thousand to Kyoto and one thousand to Osaka, and trust me when I say this, it is enough to throw the Bafuku into disarray."

"You're playing a dangerous game Saigo. If Choshu is defeated in battle, we won't have the time to recover, and the Bafuku will destroy us all," warned Katsura.

"Well, how long do you expect to hold out should you lose the first major battle?" asked Saigo.

"In any case, Choshu will not be destroyed for at least six months. Should nothing too disastrous happen, we should be able to hold out for at least a year," said Katsura.

"Then Satsuma will do everything in its power to aid Choshu in that time," replied Saigo.

"I shall take your word. Of course if we win, can we count on you to reinstate us to the court?" asked Katsura.

"Of course, otherwise how can your influence aid us in the future?" said Saigo jovially, "even if the Bafuku armies fall back without a fight, we will still try to obtain a pardon for you."

Then suddenly there was a knock on the door. The revolutionary leaders nodded to each other and Sakamoto called the man in.

"Excuse this humble one my lords, we've received word that the Shinsengumi have been searching the inns across the city. It seems they've been alerted of our meeting," said the man at the door. He seemed to be a revolutionary from Satsuma.

"Are any of them getting close to our position?" asked Sakamoto.

"No sir, it appears that the Shinsengumi have no clear idea of where we are, their searching all neighbourhoods with Ishin Shishi activity, going as far out as to look into the Minoda lumberyard. However, the 10th unit of the Shinsengumi has been dispatched to Fushimi. Local police forces will join them once they arrive, so it may not take them long to find us. Since they are travelling by foot, we have about thirty minutes before the Shishengumi meet up with local forces and begin their search."

"Well then, we will just have to intercept them before they get here," said Saigo. It seemed that he was quite adamant about finishing this meeting. Even though it may be dangerous, negotiations were making real progress. It would have been a shame to end them now.

"I'll go," I volunteered, "I will intercept them along the main road into the Fushimi area. That is most likely where they will travel."

"Go with him," said Saigo to two of his guards. He then turned to me and said, "there should be some horse outside, take them. I will compensate the inn keeper for them later."

"Thank you, and be careful, Himura," said Katsura.

"If you manage to slay enough of them, they will have to call for back up from Mibu. Just remember, the shinsengumi will not retreat. It may be better to conduct hit and run attacks to make up for our lack of numbers," said Okubo. Saigo looked slightly uneasy at the comment. It seemed that Okubo did not wish for unnecessary loss of life among the revolutionary forces. Saigo, while of the same sentiment, must have thought it cowardly to run.

The three of us guards went to the stable and got on the horses. In the cover of darkness, we rode out to meet the elite police of the Bafuku as the negotiations continued.

"That young man is very impressive. I can see the warrior spirit of the Samurai in his eyes. Quite a man to have on your side, Katsura," said Saigo after I had left.

"He is something else. He's not a samurai though, and barely a man. He's only sixteen. He fights for the new era. He is a child with a dream, that is the look you see in his eyes," said Katsura.

"So young and already risking so much. To seen what he has seen at such few years of life, one should almost be sad at the fact. But our lives are like cherry blossoms, a short bloom in the face of eternity," said Saigo as he sipped his tea. The two would quickly return to the remainder of negotiations.

A short ride later, I saw torches off in the distance. With a look to my two companions, we charged into the lights. As we got closer, I could make out that the Shinsengumi contingent numbered about twenty. They noticed us and began running our way. We stopped in our tracks and waited for them to come.

"You shall go no further, Harada Sanosuke. Take your men back to Mibu and you will all live. Continue, and you will all die," I warned as our two groups met.

"Hitokiri Battousai, it's an honour to meet the man said to be the strongest of the Ishin Shishi. But you are clearly mistaken to think that just the three of you can take on the twenty of us," said Harada as he raised his spear and assumed a battle stance.

The two guards and I descended form our horses and prepared for battle. A number of Harada's unit charged toward us. I assumed my battoujutsu stance and met their attack. Five men were out in front of Harada, but by that time only the unit captains could be of any real threat to me. Drawing my sword, I easily cut through the five them, leaving them slumped over, dead on the ground. The two men from Satsuma followed behind me and drew their swords as well.

Harada Sanosuke was quite different from the other captains in that the spear was his weapon of choice. The longer range meant and his skill with the weapon meant that I had to be more creative with my attacks. As I approached Harada, I smashed the ground with my sword and kicked up rubble into my opponent's direction. Using his spear to block the debris left me with an opportunity to close our distance. I attempted to deliver a horizontal slash upon him, but he still managed to parry my strike. I quickly slid behind him and turned to deliver a blow to his back, whereupon I saw my two allies engaging the other shinsengumi. Harada again managed to block my strike, but this time at the cost of his spear. My strike was knocked back by the power of his swing, but his weapon had split in two. As I steadied myself, Harada threw both ends of his spear at me. Although I blocked the spear head, the split shaft impaled itself in my left shoulder.

I sheathed my sword just as Harada drew his. I yank the spear shaft out of my torso and blood begins to run. The shaft did not pierce beyond the ribcage nor did it strike any arteries, it looks I would live another day. The pain does not phase me as I raise the sheath in preparation for one final battoujutsu attack. Harada steadied himself as I charged forward. He avoids the initial strike of my attack with the speed only the shinsengumi captains are capable of. However as moves to counterattack, I take my sheath and smash it with all my strength against his right elbow. Harada's strike is knocked astray by the second attack and he drops his weapon as the damage to his nerves loosens his grip over the sword. In this small opportune moment, I deliver a shallow cut along Harada's torso, which sends him stumbling backward until he finally falls down bleeding on the ground. As I prepared to finish him off, the other shinsengumi swordsmen run over to defend their captain. My two allies are heavily wounded and, despite the relief of pressure, are still engaged in one-on-one duels. Spending so long outnumbered has dwindled their strengths. They will lose the next fight, even if I take out most of the Shinsengumi heading my way. I charge toward Harada's body as his unit attempts to reach him before I can deliver the killing blow. However as they near, I leap over them to my two bloodied allies.

"Run!" I yell as I jumped into the air. The two from Satsuma quickly tried to disengage from their duels. One kicking his opponent away and the other delivering a mortal blow to his opponent. At this point there were only about eight shinsengumi left of the original twenty. I killed five, the two from Satsuma killed seven altogether, and their captain was now incapacitated and bleeding. The three of us jumped on our horses and rode away from this battle. My two allies were quite skilled to be able to take on seven shinsengumi each and survive. Saigo and the Satsuma leaders must have also brought the best warriors of their clan to guard them for this meeting just as Katsura did. As I looked back, the 10th unit of the Shinsengumi seemed to have given up on chasing us and is now trying to get their captain some medical attention.

"Is everyone alright?" I asked.

"A bit roughed up, but otherwise fine. It's an honour to have fought with the legendary hitokiri Battousai!" said the eager young man from Satsuma. He looked to be the same age as me, maybe just a couple of years older.

"We're all fighting for the new era. This one is humbled to stand in battle with you as well. What's your name?" I asked.

"It's Beppu Shinsaku. I'm Lord Saigo's new personal aide!" said the young man.

"And you?" I asked of the much older gentleman who fought alongside us. All he gave was a bow to indicate that he was fine.

"That's Seizo, he doesn't talk much. He's currently assigned as one of Lord Okubo's guards," said Beppu.

"We've eliminated half of them, I'll trust Okubo on his judgement that it'll be enough. My wound is quite minor, but I think you two may need to stop some of that blood loss before things get to serious," I called out.

"We can go to the Fushimi Satsuma residence, it's actually right down the street from where the meeting is being held," answered Beppu.

We arrived at the residence and I dropped off Beppu and Seizo. Beppu told me to wait just a bit and he came out with some bandages and medicine. After wrapping my wounds, I bid them farewell and began walking toward the inn I had left about an hour ago. Just as it came into sight, I saw people exiting the building. The negotiations must have ended. Most likely a very rough draft of the agreement was created and the meeting closed for fear of discovery. I met up again with Katsura as he exchanged goodbyes with the Satsuma leaders.

"Himura, you're wounded," said Katsura worriedly.

"It's nothing but a flesh wound, were the negotiations successful?" I asked.

"Yes, we can trust Satsuma to help us in case we run into any trouble, or at the very least we can trust them to stay out of our way," he answered, "your blood was not spilt in vain."

With that, the night was over.


	6. Chapter 5: The Second Choshu Expedition

Not long after the Satcho alliance formed, the Shogunate expedition against Choshu would begin. Although many of the clans would not commit to battle, the Tokugawa force still outnumbered the Choshu forces by many multitudes. Katsura and Takasugi were confident that the skill and quality of our forces would prevail over the pro-Shogunate forces as they were vastly unmotivated and under-equipped. Having accomplished our objectives in Kyoto, most of the Ishin Shishi returned to Choshu to prepare for the inevitable.

Tomoe and I moved to a small home in the countryside of Choshu when we left. It was quite a humble plot, enough to grow just enough food to sustain about ten people. Katsura had give us the land from his personal fief as a gift for my dedicated service. We planted some rice and vegetables during the spring, but not much. Tomoe was quite inexperienced at this type of work and I could only do so much myself. That was a good thing though, because we both knew that my stay here would only be temporary and that within a couple of months, I would return to battle once more. If the attack began in the summer, I would most definitely not be around to harvest the vegetables and would likely not come back until after the rice had to be harvested as well. Tomoe, with her rather frail figure and inexperience in farm work, would barely be capable of harvesting everything we planted as it is.

While I was enjoying my quiet farming life, the other revolutionaries were getting anxious. In April of that year, a group of about a hundred samurai from the second Kiheitai unit attacked Shogunate storehouses without permission from higher command. They were admonished by Katsura, Yamagata, and just about all our leaders for betraying the image of Choshu as the defender in this conflict and damaging our honour. They became fugitives for this act. While I felt for their predicament, hunted by those they wished to serve, I never got to know them that well. I acted with a cold demeanour to most of my comrades, though it improved from my manner before I had met Tomoe. It was fortunate that I was not close to them. A few years later, these men would remain fugitives and those that had been known to harbour them were executed when they fell out of favour with the government.

The attack by these samurai was quite provocative and raised the pace of the Shogunate's expedition plans. They soon issued an ultimatum demanding that Choshu submit or face annihilation. Katsura directed our representatives to stall for time while Takasugi, Omura Masujiro, and the Shotai leaders drove the Choshu domain into preparations for total war. Droves of young, single men were recruited into our ranks and trained for the what would be the most important battle of the Meiji restoration. If Toba-Fushimi drove the nail in the coffin for the Bafuku, then the Second Choshu expedition was what put it there in the first place.

During early May that year, I received a summons to return to the Kiheitai. Preparations began crystalizing for the coming invasion and I was to be present for our final training sessions and recruitment drives to boost morale.

Before I left for the battlefield once more, I bid Tomoe farewell.

"It will all end soon, my love," I said, "once the new era begins, I will no longer endanger my life."

"I shall wait patiently for that day," she said with a bow. I moved to embrace her. We held onto each other tightly. It seemed that with every time that I left for a dance with death, she held on tighter and tighter. It seemed with every day that we spent with each other, we needed each other that much more.

I released her and said, "it's not your fight, but you always seem so understanding."

"It is as I said before, your earnestness in your ideals is part of why I love you," she replied. I smiled back at her. She didn't really believe that, my earnestness was a redeeming factor for the bloodshed I caused, but she sure didn't think it was a something outstandingly positive. However, as a good wife knows, it's best not to make one's husband doubt himself as he entered the chaos of battle.

The Second Choshu Expedition began with the bombardment of Suo-Oshima, which was where I first saw battle with the Tokugawa navy. While the ships were engaged with the batteries on land, about 40 of us had rowed out to sea. The ships stood tall and were reinforced with steel plating, there was no real hope of defeating them with the inaccurate land-based batteries. Our best bet was to board these ships under the cover of night.

Watching over the battle was Takasugi, who sat on his horse by the artillery batteries. His protege, Yamagata Aritomo had been sent away to prepare our army for the coming land engagements. Cannon balls crashed around Takasugi and his small escort, but it did not phase him one bit. Katsura always said Takasugi to be part madman part genius. Standing strong in the face of enemy fire... I always wondered if it was a ingenious ploy to boost morale or if it was because Takasugi was so insane that he no longer feared death.

Our small boats managed to sneak beside the steel ship without being detected. Then grappling hooks flung out into the air as we began boarding. I, being much nimbler, did not need to climb. Instead, I simply jumped upon the ropes of the hooks and leaped my way to the deck of the enemy vessel. About ten other Kiheitai troops had arrived before me and we cleared the ship deck of all opposing crew. Of course the ship was still functional, with the armaments and engines still being operated.

Then suddenly a thunderous roar was heard throughout the ship. A gun battery had successfully landed a hit on the ship. Cannons back then were not so accurate. The Armstrong guns we had could hit their targets well, but they were so few in number our army had to supplement them with wooden cannons. These wooden guns not only broke after three to four shots, but were impossible to aim.

Back on the shore, Takasugi smiled as he heard the sound of our artillery smashing against the enemy ship. He began to cough and blood spewed onto his hands. Long struck with tuberculosis, it wasn't long until his life would be forfeit. It seemed that the disease was too much that day, as Takasugi fainted and fell off his horse.

Our battle on the ship seemed futile now, as we had slaughtered so many of the crew, there weren't enough hands to put out the fire caused by the cannon strike on the ship. This vessel, of wooden construction with steel framing, would soon burn down. Our forces quickly retreated back to our boats and rowed to shore.

Although we managed to deal heavy damage to the Tokugawa navy, we were spent. Our batteries had been smashed to pieces and we had no effective way to engage the remainder of their navy. With our commander's health in critical condition, his aide-de-camps decided to retreat our forces further inland to regroup. The shogunate outnumbered us, but were better equipped and better trained. The decisive factor in battle would be the superior morale of our troops, something that would be in severe jeopardy should Takasugi die.

We watched from the high ground as the Tokugawa disembarked their forces at the shore of Oshima island. It was already night and we were all getting wary. A decision was made to camp in the forest, hidden from Tokugawa view and strike when the opportunity arose. I leaned against a tree and drifted off to sleep. I dreamt of Tomoe's arms enveloping me in the warmest of embraces. It had only been a couple of weeks, but I missed her presence. We weren't that chatty, with Tomoe's quiet demeanour. But, just being near her made me feel happy. The looks exchanged, the soft touches we make, those are the things I missed most out here in the battlefield. I was quite tense back then, the burden of blood weighing heavily on my sin-ridden shoulders. Yet, those months living with Tomoe out in the countryside had made me a lot more sociable. I remember playing with the kids, something I never would have done before meeting Tomoe. These days in Choshu also did wonders for my interactions with people. I always drank sake alone back in Kyoto, but now I joined when invited by my fellow comrades-in-arms. They always talked of how bold I was to marry in these dark days.

Apparently my marriage with Tomoe had caused a bit of a scandal initially. After the Ikedaya incident in Kyoto two years ago, Tomoe and I married and some of the higher-ups in the Kiheitai thought it was ridiculous. Takasugi laughed it off and compared me with Katsura, out skirt-chasing in the middle of such bloody chaos. Yamagata took it more seriously, but his mentor managed to convince him that it was best for revolutionaries to have something to fight for when the new era arrived.

Morning came and the officers gathered in front of Takasugi's tent. The Tokugawa force have mobilized on four fronts. The assault on Oshima island was just the beginning. The largest force waiting in east has begun to move to Aki as was expected. Tokugawa forces also gathered south of the Shimonoseki strait and at Iwami in the northwest. Our loss at Oshima did not seem like a good start, but only the first unit of the Kiheitai had been stationed here and there was nothing we could really do. One of Takasugi's lieutenants informed us that we were leaving the island to regroup with the rest of our forces inland.

"This is ridiculous!" said a samurai of the Kiheitai, "how can we withdraw from battle now? This is a coward's move!" Of course he had only displayed this anger after the officer had left. Several other Kiheitai members sat down and began to simmer with similar sentiments. An angry pocket, far from the ears of others, had been formed by the tree where this samurai sat.

"Stop speaking nonsense," I said, tired of his insipid complaints.

"Who said that? Why don't you come and say that to my face!" he yelled out without looking my way first. As he and the rest of these anxious men turned, I spoke. It's been a while since I last saw my dear wife, and my frustration combined with the loss of many comrades last night had ignited a subtle undercurrent of rage. This man had just caused it to burn.

"The enemy vastly outnumbers us. While they are supported by heavy cannons and many black ships, while our supplies and ammunition are running low. You can go down there and kill yourselves if you want. There may be a war to fight, but we won't need idiots like you. Either draw your sword and fight the Bafuku, or shut up and wait a week when we come back with supplies and allies and actually take this island back," I said to him. The little crowd now sat in awe. Upon seeing my visage, they realized they just incurred the wrath of the legendary Hitokiri Battousai. Fed up, I sighed and walked away. Not one man dared speak a word, as they returned to eating their breakfast of plain rice.

Bearing witness to all this, was Takasugi, who had taken walk to see if the fresh air could help his tuberculosis. Our eyes meet and I greet him.

"Good morning, Commander Takasugi,I hope you are well today?" I asked politely.

"Thank you, Himura. I am doing much better," he replied, "I see you've been disciplining the troops."

"Ah that, I would not dare. I was simply reminding them of the necessity of thinking things through first," I replied. Come to think of it, my manner of criticism was rather like that of an angry officer. It was quite odd for me to act that way. Normally, I would just try to ignore it if one of my comrades was acting like a fool. I guess the good times I've tasted with Tomoe are making me more impatient.

"You're a good man, Himura. Not bad at all for a sixteen year old peasant," Takasugi complimented, "when I was discussing the invasion with Katsura, we were quite worried about how everything would unfold. I said to him that it was a dangerous game we'll be playing, and on the subject of us being outnumbered, I asked him 'can we hope that one of our men can fight a hundred of theirs? That a hundred of us can fight five hundred of them?' to which he responded, 'I know that at least one of us can, Himura would fight a hundred of theirs with no problem.' If we had an army of men like you Himura, this war would be over tomorrow. I really am sorry for dragging you into this at such a young age. I wanted to say no, but turning away a boy as talented as you were would have been such a waste. You'll be one to protect the new era when it comes, and that's an order... I'm starting to ramble. Guess that's just what dead men do. We know we don't have much time, so we try to say everything that we have to say."

"Your not a dead man, these things aren't certain," I answered, trying to add some optimism about Takasugi's disease. Unfortunately, that was not a manslayer's speciality.

"There's no coming back when its this bad," said Takasugi as he coughed up a slight amount of blood, "just make sure that you protect the new era I died to make, and I'll be happy."

Takasugi left, laughing madly as we walked back to his tent. I never talked to Takasugi all that much, but I think what corresponded that day touched me in some part. For days I could not stop thinking about what he said. Within my mind, he had planted the seed of an idea - the realization that the fight for an era where all may live in peace might never end.

Shortly thereafter, the Kiheitai packed up and retreated from the island.


	7. Chapter 6: The Last Supper

It's been four days since we left Oshima Island. The Tokugawa Shogunate closes in on the Choshu territories and we have yet to make a single major attack. Yet, that's all about to change. The Choshu forces assembled and Takasugi planned out an counter-attacks on all four fronts. Yamagata would take the remnants of the Second Kiheitai to defend Shimonoseki Port out west. In the east, the bulk of our forces will march to Aki and destroy the Bafuku's main assault. Takasugi, in command of the remainder of the Choshu navy, will lead the Kiheitai and another Shotai unit back to Oshima Island and retake it. The rest of our forces will wait in the north for an opportune moment to strike enemy positions. I will be heading back with Takasugi to Oshima Island. Our assault was scheduled to take place in two days time, on June 14th.

My hostile posture had decline recently as I socialized much more with my fellow soldiers. This became an issue when all the different units of Choshu had gathered. Many of the Kiheitai who had associated with me began bragging that they were "pals of the legendary Hitokiri" and suddenly they began to bring over droves of their friends to introduce to me. A couple years back I just gave a death glare to all who attempted such nonsense, but now I've reduced myself to awkwardly trying to worm my way out of the conversation.

It was the last day before we had to march and everyone was busy with preparations. Those heading to Oshima were loading the ships and boats with supplies, while the men heading out west to Aki were resting in preparation for their march and assault. A Kiheitai officer had come by telling me that Katsura had wanted to see me.

I walked over to where Katsura had been camped out and walked inside his quarters.

"Ah Himura, just the man I wanted to see!" he called out, "I, Takasugi, Omura, Yamagata, and the rest of the general staff are having dinner tonight, I want you to be there."

"Of course I will," I answered. Such an important meeting, I thought it would have been disastrous if some form of assassination took place there. The meal was to take place on a nearby inn that had been cleared out just for the occasion.

I arrived at the location and it seemed there were already guards there. Two of them bowed and gestured for me to enter. I was directed upstairs to the room where Katsura would be having dinner.

"Himura, you're early!" said Katsura as I stepped inside. So far it seemed to be just him and Omura talking at the table.

"Why are you wearing a katana and wakizashi in here?" exclaimed Omura angrily.

"These are my weapons, Mr. Omura, without them I cannot protect you all adequately. I am afraid I am not an expert in unarmed combat," I replied. And then all Katsura did was laugh.

"I'm terribly sorry, Masujiro, Himura, I should have clarified this earlier. I wanted you to come join our dinner as a guest, not as a guard, I guess that was not made clear," Katsura squeezed out between chuckles, "Come Himura, take a seat by me at this table!" It seemed I had let my guard down. I used to ask whether Katsura needed as a bodyguard for the meeting, and declined the few times he tried to involve me in politics. It seems that he had finally succeeded in that regard. I took a seat where Katsura had gestured.

"That was terribly foolish of me, Lord Kido, I apologize for my behaviour," I said.

"No need to be so formal, you're an old Ishin Shishi by now, just Katsura would be fine," Katsura replied.

"So is this the 'Hitokiri Battousai' all my men have been talking about?" Omura said as he turned toward me, "you are making my life quite difficult, every time I try to advocate for the strength of modern weaponry and tactics, there is always someone who yells back 'the Battousai uses a sword and he's killed more people than anyone in history!' Training young warriors is rough already without all this ridiculousness." I cringed upon hearing that my murders have made me a legend. As I contemplate the countless men I have slain, I come to the realization that maybe they weren't exaggerating, maybe I really was the greatest murderer in the history of mankind.

"I'm only jesting of course," Omura added. He must have caught the subtle change in my mood. "Anyways, Kido told me that you were not born a samurai. I too came from a peasant family, albeit they were merchants and doctors not farmers."

"I believe so, I was orphaned at a young age and do not remember much about my family. I was raised by my master, an ill-tempered hermit living in the forest," I responded. I think somewhere right then, Hiko Seijuro XIII just sneezed.

"It's good to see someone not of samurai origin achieve the warrior strength you possess. Why, I may even forgive these antiquated blades you have brought into the dining room," said Omura. "Your fame despite your humble origins makes me happy. It's almost as if the new age we seek has come. Now most of the Samurai, even in Choshu may not agree with this, but I think the world would operate best under a classless society. No samurai or peasants, just Japanese."

"We all have our roles to play, Masujiro. Warrior must be warriors and farmers must be farmers," said Maebara Issei as he walked up to our table and sat down. "Greetings Lord Kido, and you must be..."

"Himura, Himura Battousai," I answered. Now that I think about it my false name was not the most humble of monikers. It is the only name by which the Ishin Shishi know me, outside of Katsura and Tomoe, but it is woefully arrogant. I introduced myself as the "genius of battoujutsu" to my superiors, but I guess that's what they called me by so they were not offended by it.

"Ah, the Battousai, the legends of your deeds in Kyoto have been doing wonders for troop morale. Is it true that you've killed half the Shinsengumi?" asked Maebara.

I thought about it, and I guess I've probably killed a couple hundred of the Kyoto police during the two years I spent there as an assassin and then as a mobile attacker. If the Shinsengumi only started out with that many in its ranks, then I guess..."Yes, I believe that would be true if I really think about it," I said.

Maebara, by far the most conservative of the Choshu Ishin Shishi, seemed to view me with a positive demeanour despite my stature as a non-samurai. I guess it must have to do with my warrior prowess. The samurai were a noble class of warrior, and much of their reason to exist was dependent on their marshal abilities. In the minds of men like Maebara, a samurai was a true warrior and any true warrior was a samurai. Reading people was a talent of mine, and Maebara viewed me with subtle respect.

Then Takasugi arrived, and with him came his deputies Yamagata Aritomo, Inoue Kaoru, and Ito Hirobumi. Although I had seen Inoue and Ito before, I never had a real conversation with them. Inoue was one of the leading supporters for the Satcho Alliance and had heavily encouraged Katsura to continue negotiations even when no results were yielded. I met him in passing during my days in Kyoto, mostly when I went to escort Katsura. Ito Hirobumi was an staff officer within the Shotai and I had seen him working with Takasugi when I first joined the Kiheitai. He and Yamagata did not seem to get along for that short period of time I saw them together. Of course, as a member of the Kiheitai, I was already well-acquainted with Yamagata. He did not like me too much at first, but since then, he's warmed up a little every time I've met him. Indeed, he was only slightly unsettled at my presence at this table. I didn't blame him, aside from Katsura who feels guilty about my life as an assassin and Takasugi who was partially insane, he was the next person here most aware of the atrocities I perpetrated as a hitokiri.

We ate and told stories. It turned out that everyone had split up to make preparations for the coming war and that it had been weeks since some of them had seen each other. Communication had mostly been done by mail, and everything was reduced to strictly business. Maebara was particularly interested in my battles against the shinsengumi in Tokyo. Although I didn't particularly like telling those stories at the time, I tried my best to humour him. Takasugi and Yamagata had heard about my duels and deeds, but they too were soon encapsulated by my stories. Though both were veterans of war, neither had engaged in melee combat. Their samurai blood must have called out to them when I began telling Maebara these tales. Just as I had a particular fondness for farming and have a peasant heritage, their warrior ancestry must compel them to excitement at these graphic descriptions of duelling swordsmen.

For dinner, we had some raw fish, beef, and fugu, the Choshu region special. I was initially concerned that it was a dangerous item to be serving, as now had to worry about accidental poisoning in addition to purposeful assassination.

"I can see that concern in your face, Himura," said Katsura as I stared at the fugu that had just arrived in front of him, "Ikumatsu is overseeing the chefs, so you don't have to worry about any 'accidents' with our meal."

I smiled in response. If Katsura's lover was overseeing the cooks, I'm sure no trouble could come from him eating it. Ikumatsu was a geisha and a very intelligent one at that. She was the highest class of woman, and surely watching over a few cooks would not be too overwhelming for the likes of her.

I too partook in some of this potentially dangerous delicacy. Its taste was subtle, but definitely different from any other fish I've tasted. Though I liked it, I never really partook in this fish much in my life. Aside from the danger, I always considered myself a simple man, and I just found fugu to be a bit ostentatious. Tomoe did enjoy the occasional delicacy, but she was from Edo and did not particularly like Choshu cuisine. All this would come much later though, right now my diet back home was mostly just rice and miso.

With the revolution and the coming battle so close to our minds, the conversation at the table eventually drifted to politics. It might have been standard fare for conversation between the regular Ishin Shishi, but at a table of Choshu's leaders, things become serious very quickly. Most of the arguments were between Omura and Maebara though, so Katsura or Takasugi could just clamp down on them if the discussion got out of hand.

"I'm saying that you can't just throw out all our traditions, Masujiro. We're Japanese and Samurai, there must be honour and discipline in the way we live," responded Maebara. Omura was criticizing the Bafuku on their inability to adapt to Western science. He began to speak of a "modernized" Japan that was quite similar to Western society, something unsettling to the traditionalist Maebara.

"But think about it Issei, what use is a Samurai in the world of Gatling guns and ironclad ships? Training with swords can only get you so far. Not all men can achieve the skill of Himura here, and even then they are still vulnerable to rifles and cannons," replied Omura. And thus, I was drawn in to the argument.

"What do you think Himura, are men like yourself useless in today's world?" asked Maebara, hoping to bring me to his side. Looked like there was no avoiding this. I can only hope to be as diplomatic as possible.

"As much as I'd like to think that I could build a new era with only my sword, I am beginning to realized that we no longer live in such a time. However, the power of a skilled swordsman cannot yet be discounted. With the power of one sword, a man can still strike fear into the hearts of others and destroy the peaceful lives of ordinary folk. The life of honour and discipline should be something to aspire to and as a people we should not lose ourselves in the search for power. That is an empty pursuit. Yet, the old order is not something we should preserve. A class of warrior elite in this age can only keep power by oppressing the weak. We need a society where all can live in peace and for that we need a society where all can stand equal. Only when we value the lives of others as much as our own can the cycle of bloodshed stop," I said. Conversation at the table stopped as all listened keenly to my little speech.

"Looks like you and Kogoro have a lot in common," said Takasugi, "both expert swordsman and idealistic fools. This equality nonsense will never work I tell you. Even in a new era without the Bafuku, there will always be those who stand above the others. We can only hope that those in power act with magnanimity and justice as is required of them. If not, men like us will surely take arms again as their heavenly duty obligates, and topple tyranny once more. We may fight for an era of peace and righteousness, but that can only be sustained by the continually just nature of its creators. The fight is never truly over. For if the new era becomes corrupted, then we shall descend into darkness once again."

"Don't mind him, Himura. Takasugi is our resident pessimist. Your ideals are true and pure, never lose that," said Katsura. Then more food and sake had arrived at our table. Conversation shifted to the wondrous food in front of us and away from the future of the nation. We lamented the rough life of battle ahead of us, though I found it quite silly that our generals would complain so much. Their food, shelter, and living conditions in the battlefield were often better than some of the poorer peasants experienced at home during peace time.

We dined the night away and rested well, for tomorrow the war would truly begin.


End file.
